Sasee Magazine

My husband and I just returned from a trip to England. In the two weeks we were there, we drank a wicked amount of wine – we had no choice. Our trip involved numerous visits with friends and family who insisted on opening generous amounts of wine to accompany the meals we were sharing with them. Fortunately, (or unfortunately?) drinking the wine was not a hardship for us; however, we encountered a problem over there which gives me great cause for concern.

With every passing year, I confess to enjoying Mother Nature’s gift more and more. The gradual increase in my wine consumption used to stress me out, but not any more; I feel entitled. I am post 40 (okay nearer 50) and have finally realized that sweating the small stuff doesn’t work. I am more at peace with myself than ever before and embrace the three pleasures aging has brought: Clarity, a more relaxed psyche and a glass of wine when I want one.

I’m more of a food/wine person, i.e. I like to savor my glass of wine over a sit-down meal or an indulgent nibble. My girlfriend, however, is a purist. She needs nothing to accompany her wine and prefers to indulge in hers, late at night, once all the kids are in bed. Another girlfriend pours hers as soon as she walks in the door – end of the workday treat – and my mother-in-law likes hers before her meal, but not with. What binds us all, however, is the hedonistic sense of reward we find in a red, so smooth and velvety it tastes like silk, or a glass of a buttery, refreshing white the color of the sun. For me, it is more than just the taste though, even opening the wine exudes a certain magic. There is something about the process of uncorking a bottle that elevates the contents to something special.

Which brings me to the problem. During the entire two weeks we were in England, every bottle of wine, of which there were many – but let’s not go there – had a screw top. We never saw a single cork. No breaking of the seal, no placement of the corkscrew, no twisting and pulling of the cork and the greatest sin of all – no pop. Instead, one quick flick of the wrist and “Bob’s your uncle,” as they say. No effort, no fanfare, no nothing – it could have been a soda bottle for all we knew. Well, I for one am not happy about it, and I dare say, if Uncle Bob, whoever he is, was a wine drinker, neither would he be. I want the pop!

Even though I had read about this new trend, I dismissed it. After all, most wine drinkers, whether they admit it or not, have a little snobbery about them. Whether it’s turning their nose up at anything that comes out of a box, disapproval of anything less than “full-bodied” before they’ve even tasted it (of which Cab drinkers are the worst in my opinion, but that’s another story), or a refusal to drink out of plastic (guilty), there is a special standard that many of us have unconsciously ascribed to wine that screw tops do not meet.

Maybe I’ll grow to accept them. After all, I no longer flinch at the new synthetic, rubbery corks as common, if not more common than traditional corks. Dare I confess I even quite like them? Gone are the days of half-broken corks stuck in the bottle and the embarrassing-to-admit discussions that followed about whether to smash the neck against something to get to the wine. And, no longer are we plagued by little, brown chunks floating in our wine and the inevitable finger-into-the-glass that follows because we are now so consumed by the offending bit of broken cork, we can’t enjoy our wine until we have fished it out.

Unfortunately, it gets worse. Screw tops are also dangerous.

Even though I have friends who can single-handedly polish off an entire bottle in one night, I am not in that league. My husband and I refrain from buying the larger 1.5 liter bottles for one reason – portion control. If you open the big bottle, drink a few glasses but then fancy a bit more, it is too easy to just pour another glass. There is safety in numbers, and we prefer to keep ours low; consequently, we only buy the traditional 750cl bottles. Back in England, the mere suggestion of fancying a drop more would land you in trouble. One quick flick of the wrist and another bottle was open and on the table before you could say, “No, not for me…Oh go on then, maybe one more.” Like I said, dangerous.

The reality is, we live in a culture where nobody expects to wait anymore and convenience is king. Generations below us have grown up thinking carrots are two inches long, lettuce grows in a bag and cookies come from a packet, tube or box. So why should people mess with a corkscrew when they can achieve the same result with a mere twist of a lid? In our constant need to save time, I fear we are losing some of the simpler pleasure in life – board games, the hand-written letter, real food. Will the magical pop of a cork be next?

We are off wine for a while now, but it’s a small price to pay. Our vacation rewarded us with countless memories, all of which we remember (fortunately) and most of which we would confess to (except for that one karaoke evening). We did sightsee during our visit, but for the most part, we embraced and cherished our time with beloved family and special friends. We shared priceless evenings of good chat, good food, good company and good wine, and we wouldn’t change a thing – except maybe drink a little less wine next time.

We had no choice though. Did we? I blame the screw top.

Wine drinkers beware!