Sasee Magazine

My teenage daughters make fun of my bargain shopping. If an item isn’t on sale, I refuse to buy it.

One Christmas, my sixteen-year-old handed me a large box wrapped in shiny paper and tied with red ribbons. Inside I found several smaller boxes. The last one revealed my gift – a “Coupon Queen” button.

I wore it proudly.

When the holiday clearance sales began, I stormed down the aisles grabbing decorations, wrapping paper and bows. Hours later, arms loaded down with bargains, I snuck in the back door and overheard my husband and daughters.

“Mom’s late. She must’ve found a super sale,” my oldest said.

The younger one chimed in, “Jeez. I hope it’s something that fits now and not when it’s out of style.”

My husband chided, “Girls, you know as far as your mother’s concerned, finding a bargain is like winning the lottery.”

They all looked up as I slammed the door and rushed by with my loot. I’d show them. My treasures would remain a secret.

On another shopping trip, paper towels were on sale, so I used my ten Bounty coupons before they expired.

My husband spotted the rolls lined up in the cabinet like soldiers and asked, “Are we getting a puppy?”

Penney’s green tag sale had entire racks marked down, plus I had an additional 15% off coupon. Giddy, I bought three identical sweaters, in different colors, and headed home.

Bags rustled as I hurried past my husband to unload my stash. He followed me into the bedroom and watched as I pulled out the matching garments.

Grinning, he asked, “Do we know someone with triplets?”

My youngest daughter walked in and said, “Mom’s slipping. She forgot to buy one in pink.”

Over the years I’ve been burned a time or two. Once I used a fistful of coupons to purchase thirty containers of yogurt at half-price.

My husband opened the fridge and teased, “Eat up. Your yogurt expires in three days.”

When I heard the forecast of heavy snow, I grabbed my coupons and rushed out to stock the shelves. My funny man glanced in the pantry and said, “With all this food, we could survive a blizzard.”

For years, my husband waited impatiently while I dug through my purse for a coupon. One day I rode along with him to Cabelas. When he sat the waders on the counter and pulled out a coupon, I did a double take. The sinking economy must have taken its toll.

“Pardon me. Do I know you?” I asked.

“Very funny. I just saved twenty dollars.”

I called the girls immediately. “You’re not going to believe who just used a coupon.” They chuckled when I told them.

Once my daughters married, it didn’t take them long to find out extra savings come in handy. I stopped by my oldest daughter’s and spotted a stack of coupons on the kitchen counter. I scooped them up and asked, “Are these for me?”

She snatched the coupons out of my hand and said, “Not on my budget!”

My youngest daughter shocked me when she whipped out a coupon holder at the grocery store. Praise the Lord! My frugal ways had rubbed off.

Laughing, I said, “I can see us now. I’ll trade you my Charmin coupon for your Tide.”

My family had become such good bargain hunters, I worried the Coupon Queen might find herself dethroned.

After one of their shopping sprees, the girls stopped by to show off their savvy bargains. The youngest held up half-price bath towels from Kohl’s. When I asked if she remembered to use her coupon for an extra 20% off, her shoulders sagged. The oldest purchased a Bunn coffee maker on sale at Wal-Mart. Having studied the sale ads, I said smugly, “Did you use the Sears competitor ad? They advertised it five dollars cheaper.”

A huge smile spread across my face as I strutted away declaring, “Long Live the Queen!”

He who does not economize will have to agonize

– Confucius