Sasee Magazine

I am not a meddler, but now that I am an expectant grandmother I am about to give unsolicited advice to my daughter-in-law. I believe that I can talk the talk because I walked the walk with the father-to-be. The new parents haven’t an inkling as to how dramatically their lives will change after the baby is born. They need to prepare to take leave of their senses; five senses that is.

Your sense of hearing is the first to change. You’ll detect your newborn’s wail above all the other crying babies in the neonatal nursery. Your breasts will leak at the sound of his cry. Your heart will pound as you race to scoop him up.

When your husband was a newborn, he woke only to eat, but when he awoke, the entire neighborhood awoke also. He inherited my set of lungs. I paid him back years later when I screamed his name, “Jaaaaassssonnnn” from the back porch at midday.

“Aww, Mom the whole neighborhood can hear you,” he complained when he was eight, as he strolled through the door for lunch, all grubby and hot.

The insignificant sounds you once tuned out will now keep your sense of hearing on high alert. You will not only be fine-tuned to your infant’s every gurgle, goo and moan, but you will be concerned when he’s quiet. More concerned than ever, and that won’t change no matter how old he gets. When he’s a toddler playing noisily in his room, you will relax. When silence wraps itself like fear around you, you’ll dart to see what he’s up to. As he grows up and suffers the indignities of first love, you’ll listen to him complain, and you’ll try to help, but he won’t hear you. You’ll be most in-tuned when he’s silent, sullen and withdrawn. When he takes a wife, you’ll cry when you hear him say, “I do.” And you’ll hope against hope that his wife will be able to hear his pain and sadness as well as you do.

Your sense of sight will improve immensely. No matter how misshapen his head, how wrinkled and hairy his brow, you’ll see not only God’s beauty in your newborn baby boy, but your dimple in his chin and the shape of his daddy’s nose. You’ll be able to see his pacifier in the dark, a dry diaper with only a night light on and into his future long after he’s tucked into his crib.

When he was a little boy, I could spot your husband at the playground wearing the same superhero shirt that all the other boys wore. I could spot him anywhere, because he moved like no other little boy at the playground. Shh, don’t tell him I still think he walks on air. I could always see his greatness. You’ll see it in your little boy too.

Your sense of taste will alter. Those green and yellow veggies you wouldn’t let cross your lips will tingle your taste buds as you tongue-test the flavor and temperature of his first spoonful of pureed squash or green beans. You’ll buy extra jars of Blueberry Buckle or Apple Cobbler when you go to the store. You’ll smile knowingly as you place them on the conveyor belt, but you’ll admit your secret to no one that four of those desserts are yours.

Your sense of smell will drastically change when your baby boy arrives. When you’re pregnant, odors sometimes sicken you. You’ll complain when his daddy passes gas but guffaw like a guy when your baby boy toots like a pro. You wouldn’t think of cleaning hubby’s upchuck after a night of overindulgence with the guys. But when either end of baby is messy from too much food and drink, you’ll take it all in stride without even pinching your nose or saying, “How dare you!”

You’ll never find an aroma more appealing as the nape of your little boy’s neck. I can still see myself sitting in the rocker, nuzzling Jason’s neck at his 2:00 am feeding. Shh, don’t tell him, but sometimes when he’s towering over me and leans down to give me a kiss on the cheek, I’d rather have a nuzzle of his neck.

Your sense of touch will change most dramatically. When you cradle your little boy for the first time, you will realize that you have never felt anything so wonderful. His hair will be softer than silk, his skin smoother than cream, his ten toes tinier than a doll’s, and when he wraps his fingers around yours he’ll touch your heart and soul in a way that no one ever has, or ever will again. He is your firstborn. He’ll touch you with his first word, “Mama.” He’ll touch you with his first kiss, and he’ll especially touch you with his first “No!” Please touch him only with love and kindness. Help him to learn “right;” don’t just punish him for “wrong.” Tousle his hair, wipe away his tears and pat him on the back when he’s tried his best. Hold him always close no matter how far away he goes. Touch him where it counts, in his heart.

Shh, don’t tell Jason. He touches me with his words and thoughts; even when we’re miles and miles apart we’re still connected.

Yes, my dear daughter-in-law, your five senses are about to change. Forever and a day you’ll hear your little boy’s laughter, feel his arms wrapped bear-hug tight, taste his salty, sweaty forehead when you plant a kiss, smell his stinky tennis shoes and see his goodness all through his life, and yours.

Believe me kids; prepare to take leave of your senses.