A Hopeless “Fashinotta”

By Margaret Bishop

A Hopeless “Fashinotta”

Every once in a blue moon, I receive a request from one of my more fashionable acquaintances inquiring whether I might be interested in becoming a part of their home sales business. My initial reaction is always, without a doubt, an incredulous feeling of flattery coupled with complete and utter surprise. Me – Margaret Bishop, the representative of anything remotely connected to fashion and beauty? Makeup, jewelry, clothing, etc.; these are all areas of my life where if I was still a student, I would be categorized somewhere comfortably between “needs improvement” to “failing.” I think that it’s apparent to everyone in my close circle that when the genes for style and fashion were distributed, I definitely came up with the short end of the stick. If a woman that has a great sense of style is a “fashionista,” then I’d have to say that I’m a “fashionotta.”

In fact, despite a family legacy of enthusiastic shoppers and bargain-hunters on my mother’s side, I don’t even enjoy the process of shopping. Sure, every once in awhile, especially if I’ve lost weight and have extra money, then I, too, can enjoy wandering around a great mall or outlet center for an afternoon. But shopping on a daily basis, or even worse, all day long – ugh! That’s my version of a vaguely unsettling and unpleasant nightmare.

Lest you quit reading in disgust at the thought of a grown woman that happily looks and acts like a total slob, please be assured that I have picked up a few fashion tips that help to keep me looking fairly presentable. At least, I hope that I look presentable from time to time! We just won’t mention my state in the school drop off line each morning. Seriously, who are these people that manage to look put together at 7:15 am? Surely, they can’t be mere mortals like the rest of us.

When I grew my bangs out in college – totally without thought, but simply because I didn’t have the urge or funds to finance a haircut – I learned a very important lesson that short, fringe-type bangs are not a look that I can wear with confidence. If only I had stumbled onto this important fact before college, I wouldn’t have four year’s worth of terrible high school yearbook photos. Shortly after college, I also became aware that you cannot go wrong with basic black. A little black dress, a great pair of black pants, a sturdy pair of black boots – these are all staples of my wardrobe, and they have served me well over the years. I can honestly say that because basic black has been so good to me, I was almost fooled into thinking that perhaps I did have a limited sense of style after all. That is, I was fooled until one evening when my wisecracking neighbor astutely commented that he would start referring to me as “Stormy” because I never came to a party not dressed in at least one article of black clothing. Darn – I guess my style wasn’t evolving after all. The last important fashion tip I’ve learned that keeps me from plunging into the depths of despair when I can’t put an outfit together to save my life is that you never look better than when you are comfortable and confident. So what if I’m still wearing last year’s jeans with my white button down from five years ago, I never feel better than when I slip on that uniform. And if you see me at a wedding wearing the same black and white dress that I wore to the last wedding I attended, what can I say? I feel just a little bit like Audrey Hepburn every time I wear that dress.

The title of “fashionista” may never be in my cards for this lifetime, but a hopeless “fashionotta” isn’t all that bad of a thing to be as long as I can smile about it.

About this writer

  • Margaret Bishop Margaret Bishop and her husband, Matt, reside in Camden, South Carolina, with their three wonderful children (David, Olivia and Thomas) and always entertaining dog, Sugar. In between carpools, Margaret enjoys reading and writing as much as possible.

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One Response to “A Hopeless “Fashinotta””

  1. Everyone’s style is unique, and you have found the key to fashion. Black and white, black or white, black and black. Your fashinotta comment made me chuckle.

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