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Liz Pardue-Schultz

The Wedding I Never Dreamed Of

By Liz Pardue-Schultz

The Wedding I Never Dreamed Of

After a day of dragging me around Charleston looking for bridesmaids dresses only to watch me shrug, tell her to wear whatever she was comfortable in, and ask if we could go by Sticky Fingers on the way home, my exasperated sister announced to everyone within earshot that I was “The Worst Bride EVER.” The [...]

Thanks for the Mammaries

By Liz Pardue-Schultz

Thanks for the Mammories

I’ve always had amazing boobs. One weekend in the 5th grade, I sprouted these C-cup masterpieces, much to the chagrin of my female classmates and the befuddled amusement of the boys. Years later, a childhood friend told me I’d been known as “the second girl in our town to need a bra,” which I wasn’t [...]

“She won’t stop singing.” This wasn’t the news my mother was anticipating when she was called in for an impromptu conference with her youngest daughter’s kindergarten teacher. Relieved, my mother shrugged and replied, “She’s a happy child.” What my bemused mother couldn’t have foreseen that day was how routine this experience would become as Margaret [...]

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