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Are Soulmates Realistic?

I believe soulmates to be a realistic concept, simply in a broader sense than being the one person you are meant to marry, and oftentimes, they seem to come when you least expect it.

When people refer to “soulmates,” they often times define them in a romantic sense; one, singular person who was put on this earth specifically for you. People spend their lives searching for a romantic connection that is unlike anything they’ve ever experienced before. Once upon a time, I was one of those people too. But along the road, I started to find these connections not tied to romance and passion, but tied to instant comfortability, a sense of deep understanding of one another, and a bond that simply can’t be explained; I began finding these connections in friendships.

Growing up, I always had a decent number of friends, but my shyness and introversion made it difficult to form deep connections and feel comfortable to be completely myself with others. My first time feeling this “soulmate” connection was when I was 16. In the winter of my freshman year of high school, one of my friends from school introduced me to a girl in our grade, and within minutes, I felt like we had been in each other’s lives forever. She was someone that encouraged my silliness and was always there with a listening ear. Before long, she felt like a sister, and her family felt like my own. We were inseparable and no one was able to make me laugh as often, or as hard, as she did. Unfortunately, life gets messy when you’re discovering yourself and adapting to growing up. As we grew up together, we both began encountering experiences that caused us both to shut off from the world, and in extension, each other. Somewhere along the way, we lost contact with one another, but she’s still someone I think about often, and her friendship is one that I look back on with so much love.

The next time I found a soulmate, I was 21. I was going through a breakup after my boyfriend of 3 years and I had decided to go our separate ways, and I was having a difficult time feeling fulfilled by my social life. I went to dating apps in hopes of finding something to fill this void, and although love isn’t what came from it, I found one of the best friends I’ve ever had. He was the kind of friend that you could sit in silence with and feel as though you were right where you belonged, but also the kind of friend who you could stay up sitting on the couch with until 2:00am, talking about life, and love, and beliefs. His friendship was a safe space, free of judgement, and consistent with support. Much like my high school soulmate, this connection didn’t last forever and is a friendship I haven’t completely found peace in losing yet either, but I still look back at the time we had together with a full heart.

I believe soulmates don’t necessarily come once in a lifetime, and that you can find them anywhere, in anyone. Even though these connections are powerful, and feel unbreakable, sometimes these relationships aren’t meant to root themselves in your life forever. As people, we don’t remain the same throughout the entirety of our lives. We grow and evolve constantly. Because of this, these soul connections change as well. Much like any standard friendship, a soulmate is allowed to be your soulmate for only a period of time. As your soul continues to develop in new ways over time, these connections can feel the strain of change. I think there is a greater kind of pain involved when you watch a soulmate slip away, though. In a way, it feels as though you’re losing a piece of yourself, and even though you continue moving forward, and developing new connections, a part of you will always be with them. I believe soulmates to be a realistic concept, simply in a broader sense than being the one person you are meant to marry, and oftentimes, they seem to come when you least expect it.

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