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Finding Your Own Style
By Sambiro-Grace Mkandawire
As a young girl, I remember spending time in my mother’s room, watching her as she would get dressed. I was always fascinated by her style. My mother is what I call a chic diva. She has, in the past, and still does to this day, dress as if it was her last day here on earth. She is the type who never waits for a special occasion to wear what others might consider an outfit for a special occasion. She always used to say, “My darling girl, every day you have breath in your body is a special day.”
My mother’s style was always on trend. She kept up with the latest styles but always tried to add a twist. So, when I got into my teenage years, I started to emulate my mother. I would watch what styles she was into in different seasons and try to find similar styles I considered worthy and cool enough to be worn by a teenager. As the years went by, I started to sneak into my mother’s wardrobe to borrow some of her clothes. I would take some of her long-sleeved shirts and pair them up with a belt or her skirts, which I had to yank up high and pair with a belt to hold them in place. At first, my mother found this endearing, but later on, she found it annoying because I started to hold on to some of her favorite wardrobe pieces. That is when she sat me down and had a talk with me. She began by saying she loved that I looked up to her style-wise and that she treasured the moments I spent with her in her room watching her get dressed. But as much as she loved me seeing her as my style hero, she wanted me to cultivate my own style. She wanted my style to be a reflection of who I was.
She explained she loved to dress as if she was going to a special occasion because she came from a poor background, with not very much money to go around for all the ten children in the home. So, several times, some of her clothes were hand-me-downs from some of her older siblings. When she grew up and started learning more about the world around her, she daydreamed of owning a wardrobe with the most beautiful and stylish clothes. And that is what she did. And because she owned several businesses, she always made it a point to dress most beautifully and smartly. As the saying goes, “First impressions last.”
After our conversation, I went to my room, sat on my bed, and pondered what my mother had said. I thought it was high time I found my style because I was about to go to university. I did not want to look like I was not fashion-forward. If I did not have a style, I risked always trying to find it in other people. From that point, I started to peruse magazines to see what style would capture my attention. It was at this point that my first vision board came to be. I would put pictures of various styles that I thought were best suited to my personality and taste. I noticed that I was more drawn to one-off pieces that were not worn by the masses. I went for style pieces that would make me stand out; ones that were considered quirky and not the norm. I got good at creating my vision board and had successfully created a whole new wardrobe by the time I went to university. My mother was impressed with some of my style pieces and asked me to help her revamp her wardrobe after she lost weight.
Curating and owning my style using a vision board was such a confidence booster that I now use it every time I need to revamp my style. It recently came in handy after I gave birth to my daughter. My style, which has always leaned more towards being Avant-garde than haute couture, pays homage to small independent boutiques. The sameness of many clothes in big department stores is not very appealing. Small independent boutiques provide a range of one-off pieces that can be timeless.
The birth of my daughter sparked a fire within me that gave me new confidence. I was in awe of what my body went through to have the beautiful miracle that is my daughter. I revamped my wardrobe but still stayed true to my Avant-garde fashion style. Only this time, I decided to take my style up a notch by not playing it safe anymore. Even though my style has always been out of the box, I realized I have always played it safe with colors. For many years, my wardrobe has been monochromatic. I have always stuck to the same color hues. For example, if I was wearing blue, I made sure to stick to another hue of blue. I was not gusty enough to pair blue with another color, for example, yellow. I thought mixing colors in one outfit would make me look like a rainbow or, worse, a clown. Not that there is anything wrong with these two things. But thanks to my daughter, who I have had the privilege of dressing up in many cute clothes, I am inspired to experiment with different colors.
To this day, my fashion style remains Avant-garde, with most of my clothes from small independent boutiques/shops. My style consists of classy and timeless pieces, which I can hold on to for a while or pass down to my daughter if she ever wants them. My style consists of a mixture of exciting colors that complement every season. I take pride in my style, and I love it. And I am grateful that my mother pushed me to find and own my style. I hope to one day do the same for my daughter.
