\u201cHow do you know when you\u2019ve had a good Thanksgiving?\u201d my middle son, who had driven home from south Texas for the holiday, asked many years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHaving all the family together,\u201d I answered instantly. I didn\u2019t even have to think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I thought about it some more. The dinner, of course, is important. Everyone agreed that year\u2019s dinner was the best ever. There were complaints that there wasn\u2019t enough room on our plates to try everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, what should we not fix next year?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t need all these mashed potatoes,\u201d said the son who had mashed them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, we do!\u201d My daughter-in-law and I said emphatically at the same time. \u201cWhat would you put your gravy on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOn the turkey and dressing,\u201d he argued, but we protested vehemently. There would be mashed potatoes next year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had added a new dish, a sauteed squash and pear combination. \u201cWe don\u2019t really need a vegetable,\u201d I said. \u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019ll make that next year.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI love the squash,\u201d my husband said. \u201cDon\u2019t leave it out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo we really need all these salads?\u201d someone asked. \u201cThere\u2019s always so much left over.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOf course, we do,\u201d someone else jumped in. \u201cWe want to have lots of leftovers.\u201d I didn\u2019t dare suggest not having the scalloped oysters, as I am the only one who doesn\u2019t like them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOne of the best parts of the dinner,\u201d I continued my conversation with my son, \u201cis cooking it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The best Thanksgivings, I think, are when everyone gets there early enough to make something, to help set the table. I make a list of the dishes that have to be made and everyone signs up to make one. My husband always made the oysters, and my youngest son has taken that over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We all mill around in the kitchen, bumping into and distracting each other, talking, interrupting, laughing, and drinking wine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRemember the year I decided we should each tell what we were thankful for before we could start eating?\u201d I asked my son.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the time we went around the table, the turkey and dressing were cold, so we didn\u2019t do that again. The next year, we tried toasts by everyone who felt inspired. The food got cold again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next year, we had one prayer of Thanksgiving by the elder member \u2013 and he was urged to make it brief. \u201cNo philosophy,\u201d I whispered, as I bowed my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd remember when Jake was barely four and we asked him to give the prayer. \u2018Thank you for my parents and grandparents and uncles and puppies. Amen,\u2019 he said.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAmen,\u201d we all echoed. \u201cThat was a good prayer,\u201d his grandfather told him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We sat companionably for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe it\u2019s the laughter,\u201d I finally said, \u201cIf at least once you\u2019ve laughed so hard the tears roll down your cheeks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you know you\u2019ve had a good Thanksgiving?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When the hugs are as substantial as the dressing, the humor as tart as the cranberry sauce, when being together is as comfortable as gravy on mashed potatoes, and the love in the air is as thick as the pumpkin pie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My son and I grinned at each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd that\u2019s how you know,\u201d I said.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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