\u201cI earned my Phi Beta Kappa Key the hard way!\u201d Dad said, flipping brats on the grill, with Mom holding a platter, standing nearby and guests all around him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d Mom\u2019s friend asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI married it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The jest elicited a laugh, a roll of the eyes from Mom, and a dimpled grin from Dad. As Mom and I carried trays inside, she whispered, \u201cThat joke of your father\u2019s gets mighty old.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom was proud of her academic prowess. She pinned it on her 1960s Jackie O look-alike suits she wore to PTA meetings hoping the medal might impress her students\u2019 parents. Sadly, most didn\u2019t know the significance of her jewelry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a child, Mom had been doted on by parents who didn\u2019t like each other much, but thought their daughter hung the moon. The affection they withheld from each other, they poured on her. Money, which they didn\u2019t have to spend, they still spent on her. Fashionable clothes, private lessons, and an elite college all took cash- mostly gained from selling inherited farmland. In turn, they received a dividend \u2013 an accomplished, educated, poised daughter, who also happened to be very pretty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom played the accordion at get-togethers. Folks commented: \u201cShirley, I wish I had your musical talent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In private, Mom said, \u201cTalent? Humpf! I practiced day in and day out. For years! That\u2019s what a lonely girl does when she has no sisters or brothers to play with.\u201d Mom had played with Charles Nunzio and had even been on the radio. While at Duke, she played at weddings and other events for a little \u201cpin money.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the barbecue, a stay-at-home mom remarked: \u201cShirley, you\u2019re fortunate you have a gift for languages.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom smiled, but I knew what she was thinking. I\u2019d heard her say many times: \u201cLuck has nothing to do with it! Rote memorization and drill do! If Helen had fallen asleep each night clutching her Spanish textbook, like me, she\u2019d be \u2018gifted,\u2019 too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My dad\u2019s sister never learned to operate an automobile with any proficiency. Marge remarked, \u201cI wish I had the courage to drive to the shore, like Shirley.\u201d Mom didn\u2019t think it took courage to drive to Island Beach, New Jersey. Kids need to go to the beach in the summer so you take them, Mom philosophized. Yet, Mom did have gumption; she\u2019d flown gliders in her twenties. The first time my dad watched her doing this while they were dating, he, on the ground, almost fainted as she flew perilously close to high-tension wires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t it something the way you hold down a job, raise three children, and care for your widowed mother?\u201d another neighbor gushed as she looked over at Ama sitting in a chair being served sauerkraut and sausages by Dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom held the warm German potato salad that she arose early that morning to prepare. \u201cYou could do the same thing!\u201d Mom answered the seated lady as my mother bent over to spoon the sour and sweet spud m\u00e9lange onto the guest\u2019s plate. Mom later confided to me, \u201cAnyone can get up early and prepare a recipe.\u201d Mom saw nothing remarkable in her can-do attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whenever Mom joined an organization, she was elected to a position of authority. \u201cThose Germans sized your mother up right away when we joined the Steuben Society,\u201d Dad said. \u201cThey made her secretary; your mom added German poetry to the newsletters. Your mom could take a job, excel in it, and expand it,\u201d Dad added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom wasn\u2019t scared of the unknown, of rejection, or of doing too much. She grabbed life by the horns and wrestled it into submission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish I\u2019d had more time with her.\u00a0The little free time Mom had was split between my siblings and me, Dad, grandma, in-laws, friends, teaching, obligations, chores, women\u2019s clubs, and church. At 18, I was off to college, a career, marriage, and family.\u00a0Mom became direly sick before I finished having children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In her final year, 1986, Dad had to make a business trip to Japan which would last a month. Mom insisted on accompanying him. She never missed an opportunity to travel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I worried about the trek because of her illness, but she had a blast astonishing the Japanese businessmen with how fast she picked up expressions and culture. Women weren\u2019t allowed to attend dinners, but the board chairman took a shine to her; he\u2019d say, \u201cMrs. Vogel, you sit next to me at the table.\u201d When I saw my parents after their return, Dad glowingly recited the compliments paid her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom confessed: \u201cErika, I listened to those tapes day and night just so I could say the most mundane things! Japanese isn\u2019t easy to learn! Those men were kind complimenting me on my limited knowledge.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every so often over the years, I\u2019ll reach into the back of my dresser drawer and pull out a velvet box. Of all the things left me, this little piece of metal, her Phi Beta Kapp key, means the most. It symbolizes what she valued: perseverance, diligence, and recognition for a job well done. I gaze at her beloved pin, and I see her again, grinning, confident, and ready to get on with the next assignment, adventure, or opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mom taught me to strive, to learn constantly, and to have fun along the way. This heirloom left to me has a significance that\u2019s much more powerful than the report cards it represents; it is a reminder of who she was, what she valued, and how she led her life.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cI earned my Phi Beta Kappa Key the hard way!\u201d Dad said, flipping brats on the grill, with Mom holding a platter, standing nearby and guests all around him. \u201cHow\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_tec_requires_first_save":true,"_gspb_post_css":"","_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"_tribe_blocks_recurrence_rules":"","_tribe_blocks_recurrence_description":"","_tribe_blocks_recurrence_exclusions":"","footnotes":""},"essay_type":[46],"essay-category":[],"class_list":["post-21010","essay","type-essay","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","essay_type-features"],"blocksy_meta":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/essay\/21010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/essay"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/essay"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21010"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/essay\/21010\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"essay_type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/essay_type?post=21010"},{"taxonomy":"essay-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sasee.com\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/essay-category?post=21010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}