Flo Miller Phillips: A Momma to Many!

“It’s a miracle to have a baby, but it’s a double miracle for someone to have a baby and give it to someone else in need. I have a high appreciation for the mothers who are strong enough to do this, when they think it’s in their best interest to give their child to a better home.” -Flo

Flo was raised in Pamplico, SC, on a beautiful piece of property her grandparents owned, where her grandfather was a farmer and a doctor. It wasn’t until she was a freshman in high school that she made her way to the beach life. Her father relocated their family to Litchfield for his Real Estate job. Despite Flo’s threats to jump off a bridge because she did not want to leave the farm, she surprised herself by falling in love with this new home of hers. She made lots of friends and became a cheerleader at Georgetown High School. Afterwards, she attended Brenau University, but ultimately, transferred and graduated from the University of South Carolina. She continued her education by receiving her masters from Coastal Carolina University and began teaching, as she adored children and treated them all as her own.

At the young age of twenty-two, Flo married her first husband and attempted to have children straightaway. Flo explained to me that she always wanted a big family. She said, “when you were young, you had doll babies, and then when you grow up and get married, you have real babies. I always thought everyone had babies, no question about it.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite that simple for Flo to make this dream of hers a reality as easily, or as quickly, as she’d hoped. Once she realized her body was not equipped to produce all the babies of the world, she began seeing several different doctors and specialists. We have to keep in mind that this was a different time, therefore In Vitro Fertilization was not available to the public yet. If it had been, Flo’s story may have been a different one to tell, but this did allow her the opportunity to go through the miraculous process of adoption.

Adoption was much less common then, but Flo was determined this was her life path. She first went to the Children’s Bureau to be deemed qualified to adopt a child. Although Flo thought she had the perfect home, the woman interviewing her claimed she did not because in order to adopt, Flo would have to give up working, as the woman sat there, pregnant and working. After five years of trying, Flo felt like everyone around her was having babies. Her sister had a baby and one of her best friends ended up with triplets. I know what you’re thinking, but no, she did not give one of her babies to Flo. This heightened Flo’s focus even more and she decided to meet with a close attorney friend for help.

A year later, when Flo was teaching at Waccamaw Elementary, she was called to the principal’s office. She, of course, thought she was in some kind of trouble, but once she made her way there, she realized it was actually her husband on the phone who was trying to relay an important message. He told her something good happened and she said, “did you sell a house?” (He worked as a contractor.) He told her no and that it was something even better and she replied, “well, did you sell two houses?” He chuckled, “No, we have a baby girl!” Flo went screaming out of the school, left her students, and zoomed home to tell her mother the wonderful news. She called the attorney immediately and he declared that she could have her baby in three days and Flo exclaimed, “No, I absolutely cannot wait, I’ve waited long enough.” Flo brought her baby girl home the very next day in the most darling outfit she had been waiting so long to dress her baby in. At the age of twenty-nine, Flo finally had a baby girl of her own, little miss Elizabeth Kari. Flo described her home as looking like a funeral event due to the insane amount of cars that showed up to congratulate the family and to welcome the baby that everyone knew had been such a long waiting process for the family.

Flo was determined to have a brother for Kari, so she began trying to adopt again. She heard about a very young mother that was going to give her baby up and Flo and her husband began to support this girl because Flo, obviously, thought this was going to be her baby. Sadly for Flo, the mother decided to keep her baby and apparently she had pulled this scam before. This exact scenario happened once more leaving both Flo and Kari completely devastated. Kari was four at the time and equally wanted a brother as much as Flo wanted a son. Flo’s helpful attorney friend assured her he would not let her feel this heart break again. One night while the family was on vacation, the phone rang in the middle of the night. Flo answered and to her astonishment, it was her attorney calling to inform her that she was getting a baby boy, who she named William Rivers.

Flo told me a few stories about her early days with the children. The first was about Kari and how everyone used to ask Flo, “Where did Kari get that blonde hair?” Well, Flo got tired of that question pretty quickly and decided to dye her hair blonde to match so that no one would question her again. The next was a story about Rivers when she first brought him home. She was a tad doubtful at first and questioned herself, “Will I love Rivers as much as I love Kari? I don’t know if I could ever love anything as much as Kari.” One night, Rivers was really hot in the bed and had a high fever and as she rushed him to the hospital, she kept weeping and praying, “Oh, Dear Lord, I swear I love him just as much as Kari!” Although Rivers was the one with the virus, Flo needed her own nurse because she was so scared to lose him. This story gives Flo a good giggle now though.

Growing up and still to this day, Flo’s children get to celebrate two birthdays every year, their traditional birthday and their “gotcha day.” The kids knew from the very beginning about their adoption, in fact, Flo made up her own stories because there weren’t really books that explained these situations at the time. The story that they knew about acquiring Rivers went a little something like this: “Kari was playing in the backyard one day and heard a noise coming from a nearby weeping willow tree. She discovered a basket with a handsome baby boy. She excitedly ran home with it and he lived with us forever.” Ever since, Flo has made sure that she has a weeping willow tree in her yard. Flo always illustrated to the kids that they did not come from her tummy, but from her heart. Flo’s children grew up easily knowing just how loved they really were. They made good grades in school and are very spiritual beings. Kari resides in Greenville, with her husband, and recently birthed their first baby girl. Rivers lives in Columbia with his wife and two children and refers to himself as very lucky to have the upbringing he had, all thanks to Flo.

Flo taught school for forty years and spent her last fourteen years as a master teacher at Lowcountry Preparatory School where she also became a Certified Parent Care Facilitator. This role meant that she helped with the relationships between parents and their children as well as helped the grieving parents who were having to go to court and possibly going to lose their children. Flo has also operated manner camps in the area for years.

Flo is extra thankful this Thanksgiving for her now husband of 9 years, Phil, because he is so helpful with her children and grandchildren as well as his own daughter, two sons, and several grandchildren. She knows they won’t be able to travel forever, but is looking forward to hopping around the state to see all of their family for as long as they can.

Flo clarified, “I’ve always worked with kids and I’ve always loved kids, it’s all I ever wanted to do.” Flo has unconditionally taken care of everyone else’s babies, and now she has several of her own. Not only is she a mama to all of her students, children, and grandchildren, but she is also a mama to her five dogs, a kitten, and many quail and chickens. I am excited to visit Flo at her lovely home again soon to watch her new baby chicks hatch.

Flo left me with a quote of the most frequent questions she gets asked by others, “Is he yours or did you adopt him?” and she would answer very clearly, “He IS mine, and I DID adopt him!” Flo also wanted me to pass along some advice to all the people interested in adoption: “Don’t give up! Get the word out and seek help from everyone you know. Even through the hardships, it’s a wonderful experience and is SO worth it. I love to talk about it because it reminds me of how truly blessed I am.”