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Thanksgiving Thievery

It was a brilliantly blue-skied Thanksgiving Day, perfect for a celebration. But there was mischief afoot. Little did we know that a criminal was lurking in the neighborhood looking for an opportunity to strike.

A neighbor had placed her cooked turkey on the windowsill to cool while the guests consumed butternut squash soup. When she returned to the kitchen anticipating her beautifully browned and glazed piece de resistance, it had vanished. What’s Thanksgiving without a turkey? Ruined, that’s what. The stunned and angry group was forced to be content with cheese and crackers as the main course. Was it a childish prank or a sinister neighbor’s dastardly deed?

That same day, another theft ruined any possibility of dessert for an elderly couple and their family. The couple returned from last-minute shopping with items including two pies, which they left on the porch until they unloaded their purchases. Just a few minutes later, when the wife returned to retrieve the pies, they had disappeared, leaving only a pile of crumbs and empty pie tins.

The next day, our good neighbor sheepishly solved the mystery. He told us he saw his Saint Bernard lumbering down the road and didn’t think much of it. That is, until he noticed turkey legs and wings wildly flopping from either side of his mouth. Although appalled, it was too late for him to undo the damage his delinquent dog had caused. Furthermore, he also revealed himself as the mastermind behind the purloined pies. After his dog absconded with the turkey, he trotted home with a portion of pie half spilling out of his mouth. To make matters worse, he looked totally unabashed as he continued to contentedly munch on the spoils.

News quickly spread throughout the neighborhood where his dog became canine non grata. Although we thought the escapades were hilarious, we weren’t the recipients of such naughty behavior. It was agreed that the one who had the best Thanksgiving that year was the Saint Bernard. He spent the rest of the day peacefully curled up on his bed, burping and flatulating, undoubtedly with dreams of more impromptu meals in his future.

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