What You Choose to Believe      

by Erika Hoffman

Are any of you guilty of reading psychology babble on the internet? Each day articles like “How to spot a narcissist?” or “How to talk to your adult children” or “The nine habits of a High IQ’ zoom over a non-existent, invisible transom and plop onto my computer screen before my tempted eyes.  The compulsion to peruse these pieces overwhelms me. It’s the equivalent of a fairy godmother dropping a bag of Godiva chocolates onto my lap. I got to dig in.

Although I want to focus in front of a blank document thinking about what I’m going to pen, I’m distracted by countless, tempting, probably inaccurate articles on a cornucopia of topics while simultaneously being assaulted by my landline ringing off the hook with idiot robotic recordings urging me to get financial help from a supposed car accident or informing me how to save money on my final costs, or how to acquire paybacks from Medicare, or how to rescue my arrested grandson from the police and jail.  (To that, I respond: “What? Is that nine-year-old driving drunk —again?” Anyway, you get my point: there are many distractions for a writer, even when she sits alone in her study with her sole companion, an old dachshund at her feet.

Of course, I succumb. I had to discover if I had any of the nine habits that signal a high IQ, something I’d be thrilled to know if I possess. The first was: talking to oneself.  I talk to myself.  How else to remind myself of what I need to do that day?  Also, as any writer knows, you talk about what you are going to write before you jot it down. After you scribble it down, you reread it, and sometimes you critique it aloud. So, give me a check. I have the first habit down pat.

Staying up late is the second custom of a very bright person.  Again, I scored.  Each night, I must watch my favorite programs. I’m desperate to learn what’s happening to that handsome Highlander in Outlander, and then I keep myself abreast of the news and the local weather. Next are dishes to unload and dishes to load. Then, mail needs to be put out in the mailbox for the morrow, and of course my dachshund has to go out one more time for a potty break before beddie-by. Finally, curious me must check email to see if I sold any of my writing pieces. Ergo, I am late to bed.

Constantly daydreaming is a trait listed. I’ve done that since I was a kid. In fact, I’ve always blamed that habit for not understanding chemistry as well as I should have given that I was a good student in subjects that didn’t require an understanding of science. Boring chemistry led to my addiction to daydreaming.

The fourth sign of a high IQ is a messy workplace.  Really now?  I thought cleanliness was next to godliness and signified an organized, rational, forward-planning person.  Mastered this one too!

The fifth signal you have a high intelligence quotient is loving deep, long conversations. “Deep” is a very subjective word, but “long?” Yes, I like long dialogues and hate small talk. I didn’t know that qualified me as smart.

“Overthinking everything” also signals brightness. Here, I thought it was genetic anxiety.  Worrying is a constant feature in my family’s make-up. My mom used to say of her mother-in-law, “Your dad’s mom would worry that she couldn’t find something to worry about.”

Being easily distracted is another trait of a wizardly mind. Prior to reading this, I’d thought my gazing at birds on my birdfeeder outside my window and watching to see if a squirrel would make them scatter was wasting time or maybe a symptom of ADD. Now I know it’s a symptom of a brilliant mind.

Forgetting trivial things is listed as a characteristic of a very smart person.  This mystifies me because I’d consider it important to remember details especially if you are a chef, nurse, or civil engineer. Measurements matter.

The last attribute is “enjoying solitude.”  Geniuses relish time alone. Perhaps, they need the quietude to figure out the theory of relativity rather than hang around noisy rabblerousers, frolicking beachgoers, or feisty rally attendees. Being contemplative in serenity might promote wisdom; perhaps the wise intuitively know to segregate themselves from noise.

In reflecting on this list and my newfound knowledge, I realize I wasn’t sure these are the habits of the brightest stars among us, but they certainly pertain to the routines of writers.  Writers require solitude, need to understand the big picture, need to meditate on plot lines or themes, need to engage in purposeful conversations, need creative workplaces filled with paper and books, need to imagine, need to find time which may be late in the evening to pen their thoughts, and might engage in soliloquies while figuring out the tone of a piece they’re creating.

I doubt I have an Einstein IQ, but I do possess these nine habits which I’m sure any person who keeps a journal or publishes a newsletter, or creates the next great American novel also recognizes as facets of their personalities. Writers create. These habits are those of creative “artistes.” Move over Monet, Michaelangelo, and Motown.

Scribblers of words are highly gifted. It must be true. I read it on the internet.

Because I believe in maintaining a positive attitude, I’ve decided to accept this article’s premises as true, and I indeed have a very high IQ!